Class Seven of the 40 Day Challenge, or Living in My Skin

So, here's the deal.

I've been a big girl all my life. When I say big, do not misunderstand. I mean big in that topping out at 500 pounds, there were 8 Xs in my clothes tags, buy me two or three airplane seats sort of way.

I am still a big girl.

I lost half my body weight four years ago. I'm still big.

I'll always be big.

Now, though, I'm big with skin.

LOTS of skin.

My apron is a stunning thing. Floppy, loose, empty, C-section and hernia surgery skin that sort of...hangs down there and reminds me that you can't weigh 300 (400, 500) pounds plus for 25 years without repercussions.

I'm talking skin that you can do origami with, y'all. It's...amazing.

It's also a big yoga challenge. I forward fold over it. I catch my elbows in it. When we try inversions, periodically I worry about drowning in it. Today in class I couldn't find a good place for it during the seated forward folds. (Hey, I promised honestly, right?) No matter where I shoved and pushed, it was there, possibly trying to fold itself into one of those paper cranes...

It's my challenge and, I admit, sometimes I consider having it all removed, but, you know... It's mine. It's my badge reminding me that healing is possible, that my body is not my enemy, that perfection is for magazine covers.

Also, you know, my basset hounds find it comforting. ;-)

Namaste, y'all.

S.

 

Class info:

Location: The Yoga Room

Class type: Gentle

Teacher: Zelinda